how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
