Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
