Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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