okay pat passed out under dana's car
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Your penis caused this!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
