girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
