if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
