And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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