HIV tests are more positive than that guy
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
