i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
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Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
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I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Help. Why am I so naked?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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