Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
