his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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