yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
