I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
