If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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