Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
