Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
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Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize