he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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