so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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