I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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