pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
