it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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