I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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