People with herpes should wear stickers.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
