You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
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the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
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So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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