I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
