Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
