ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
