Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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