Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She's the barista slut.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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