I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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