You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize