Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
