I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize