You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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