You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Randomize
