All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
