okay pat passed out under dana's car
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
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