I must be too annoying 4 u.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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