This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
