Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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