I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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