yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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