Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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