Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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