I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
