Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
