and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I want to be your penis for a week.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
