Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
