Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
