dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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