The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
