If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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