I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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