You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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