Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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