I wish I could punch you in the face.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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