now i know why i became what i already was.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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