The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Randomize
