Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
